As I did yesterday, I am sending out this corrected paper with all the problems I found. The idea is not to make life difficult for anyone, but instead for all of you to read everything written in Hs 200. Indeed, had I insisted on that right through the semester, we'd not be facing this "fourth quarter" end of game log jam.
Well Karin, there are many problems with this paper. For starters, what happened to the "era of the dictators" you mentioned in your opening paragraph. Then there are problems with inoperative links: a majority of your links are inoperative. You have got to go over these and fix them because I will not do that for you. There are also lots of spelling, grammar, punctuation, repetition, and stylistic problems. If the idea of writing is to get other folks to give their time and attention to things that you write, you have got to do better -- a lot better. Something that would help you is to get two of your friends to do you a favor by getting one to read what your write out loud to the other. I did that all the time when I was a student, and I know it is useful because it is often very difficult to see your own errors and confusing writing. The author always knows what he or she wants something to mean, and assumes that is what it will mean to the reader. But that is often not the case.
There are also significant historical errors. I've spent the last six hours going through all of this very carefully and have found lots and lots of things for you to fix, but I won't do the work for you. In the end, I am not at all clear about what your "thesis" might be, if there is one at all. I think I should have seen that problem right from the beginning because the "questions" you are trying to answer are not really questions at all. Essentially what you have produced is a list of events, something that used to be called a "chronicle" in the medieval period. Click here to see what I am talking about. The place and the time you are dealing with are not well served by that approach because its history is too colorful and exciting to be treated like that. For one thing as an example, it eludes me completely that you could write on medieval Spain without saying a thing about its epic poem El Cid. You have a lot of improvements to make.

Karin H. Haff
Spanish Medieval Times
History on the Internet
Quinnipiac College
Hamden, CT 06518
Email to h0052393@hotmail.com



[The site that you call "Internet Yahoo" is in fact Roman Spain, part of a larger tourist information site. yahoo is just a search engine. Also, footnotes end with periods and actual books require publication information. See Turabian. As for the site lists here, it seems to be that they are commonly being enclosed with parenteses, as in (http://www.hotmail.com).]

1.)Internet Si Spain: http://www.DocuWeb.ca/SiSpain/english/history/hisintro.html

2.) Internet Yahoo: http://www.camelotintl.com/heritage/roman4.html

3.) Internet Yahoo: http://www.camelotintl.com/heritage/roman5.html

4.) Academic American Encyclopedia #1 pg. 306-7 [Italicize book titles.]

5.) Academic American Encyclopedia #1 pg. 279 [Italicize book titles.]

6.) Internet Yahoo: http://www.camelotintl.com/heritage/mus4.html

7.) Academic American Encyclopedia #1 pgs. 306-7 [Italicize book titles.]

8.) Internet Yahoo: http://www.camelotintl.com/heritage/mus4.html [Fix link.]

9.)Internet Si Spain: http://www.DocuWeb.ca/SiSpain/english/history/hisintro.html [Fix link.]


Traditional format for books (as in Turabian) and some agreed upon form for Net citations. I will find a suitable guide for you.


Barbara Mahler
Barbara Mahler
Ben Mikula
Dennis W Cashman
Dennis W Cashman
Karin Haff
Kent Golden
Michael A Tromp
Norma Keegan
Norma Keegan
Norma Keegan
Scott Goldschmidt

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